Happy Halloween

Yep it's Halloween and yes we dressed Grace up and drug her around for two hours to everyone's house. We didn't even get to them all so we will be dressing her up yet again for tomorrow night. Poor child...if she weren't so cute all this would not be necessary. Look at this little pumpkin...
She pranced around in this outfit all afternoon and the hat actually stayed on her head . She was a very proud pumpkin.
We also had our 6th Annual Stevenson/Petroff Pumpking Carving and here are our creations. I'll give you one guess to which one Neal's is...

Take my advice...

Don't watch Friday the 13th and all four Halloween's before going to the mountains to spend the night by yourself. I went to Pumpkin Lane on Saturday for the night without the family. I went to help my Dad work on the slideshow for Hap and Courtney's wedding. We ate dinner and watched the Carolina/Tennessee game. GO TENNESSEE!!!!! After which I decided to drive back to Pumpkin lane instead of crashing at the folks. It was 10 o'clock at night and I saw about 15 deer that ran in front of the car while driving down my parents driveway. For those of you who don't know my parents live on the top of a mountain on 27 acres so it was dark as hell. 15 minutes later I pulled up to Pumpkin Lane. Damn it's dark. I think I remember yelling, "If you're in the bushes peeper, I have my mace!" No response, I must be safe. After getting inside I immediately cut on the TV. I need noise. When it was time to get in bed I made Neal talk to me on the phone while I gathered the shotgun and mace and crawled into bed. Okay now try and sleep...stop thinking about a hockey mask and a butcher knife...it's just a movie.
I awoke the next morning without having been murdered and all was well. I slept in since this is the first time in a year and a half that I woke up to a quiet house. Ahhh........... The leaves are beautiful right now and were at the peak for color.

My parent's barn and potting shed

Rainy day...

So what do you do with a 1 1/2 year old when it rains all day? Well we build a fort and make peanut butter cookies. Having a kid is great for a lot of reasons but but one of the best getting to stay in your pajamas all day with cartoons, eating cookies and building forts where I am the Queen and Grace is a Princess. My face hurts from all the laughing. It is supposed to rain all weekend...I say let it rain.



Rainy Day Grace

And when it's not raining Grace has found a new pastime...playing in the leaves.

I still got it...

Okay so I know I was supposed to post yesterday but beleive it or not I felt worse yesterday than I did on Sunday. Now that's a hangover to be proud of.
It was really a great time. We had dinner at the house Saturday night and then had a lingerie shower.

We played a really fun game where Courtney had to answer questions that Hap had already answered earlier in the week. I learned way more about my brother's sex life than I ever wanted to know. Much of the game I had my fingers in my ear shouting, "Ewww...gross!!!" She did get some great lingerie and some really funny gag gifts, including a book about sex that none of the girls could put down. It's like a train wreck, you couldn't help but look. After lots of presents and dressing Courtney for the evening, the LIMO arrived to take us out. It was the sweetest limo I have ever seen, 18 person stretch Hummer limo. Now Amanda before you judge me I have to say if you could have ridden in this thing you might walk away with a different point of view. It had leopard print seats and a mirrored ceiling with purple lights. Champagne glasses and a built in cooler which we filled to the top with jello shots that were strong enough to take paint off the wall. John was our limo driver and a gift from God. He was about 350 pounds of pure sweetness and watched over us the whole evening. Somebody had to do it... He had a red carpet that the laid out everytime we got in or out of the limo...I lost count how many times I yelled, "What's up I'm famous!!!" out the window. We had Justin Timberlake, "Sexyback" blaring to take us to our first stop which Courtney thought was Broadway at the Beach but we had another plan up our sleeves. Did somebody say dragshow???!!!! That's right we rolled up to the Rainbow Room in the limo down the red capret and inside. The girls had let the club know we were coming so let's get this party started. This was not a big place so when we rolled up it was hard not to notice 18 pretty white girls pile into a gay bar. Everyone there was great and the drag show started at 10 so we bought shots all around and ten it sstarted. The MC, "Monique" was about 7 feet tall and really made our group part of the show. The first queen to come out "The Asian Persuasion" who had a metallic cape that got out of hand. We all had $1's in hand. When I tried to stand up to tip her she didn't even see me and whipped the cape forcing me to duck in order not to get a mouthful of cape. One of the girls got thrown on the pool table as part of her attempt to tip while the Queen threw apart her legs. Wow...I don't think I have ever laughed so hard in my entire life. After about 6 drag queens they all posed with us for group pictures (now I would normally insert a picture of that here but unfortunately I didn't take my camera in the limo in fear of getting really drunk and leaving it at a bar) but the other girls are e-mailing me those pictures this week so I will post as soon as I get them. You really need pictures to get the full scope of this evening. I digress...so back in the limo and on to Broadway at the Beach. Jello shots and dancing on the drive and we're there. Red carpet please...thank you. First club, Mango's. Now this is the only name of any of the bars we went to that I remember...it's all a blur from Mango's on. Dancing, dancing and more dancing...until I got dry humped by a Latino. That's it next bar, executive decision. More dancing, I remember something about us on stage and a fog machine, it's getting fuzzier...Next thing I know it's 2 am and we are all outside the club with our shoes off looking like hell from sweating for the past 3 hours. Show of hands who's ready to get our drunk ass back in the limo and hit McD's drive thru. Sweet. I didn't think a limo that size could fit but John worked his magic and I was eating a quarter pounder in no time, all the while yelling,, "What's up I'm famous!!!" out the window. 3 am back at the beach house...sleep.
I still got it, all while bringing Sexyback.

The morning after...

I survived...barely

Okay so I am way too hungover to tell the story from last night but promise to post tomorrow. Now it is couch time with a side of Tylenol. My body hurts...

Let's hope I survive...

So I am off tomorrow for my future sister-in-law's bachelorette party tomorrow. It is in Myrtle Beach, aka Sin City of the South. They have rented a beach house and from what I understand there is a limo to take us to Brodway at the Beach, which if you have never been it is where the Hard Rock Cafe, Aquarium and more bars than should be allowed to be in one area. As a matter of fact all the bars are connected so can bar hop without ever having to step foot ourside. I smell danger... I will be spending the night unless I convince the limo driver to drive me back to Rock Hill after I pass out from drinking. So say a little prayer that I survive a night of drinking with 24 year olds. I really am too old for this shit.

She likes to sit on the couch like a big girl.

Notice anything different?

Look at this profile?!

Pumpkin Fest 2006

Let's see...where do I start. Well we headed to Pumpkin Lane on Friday to see the leaves changing AND to go to Pumpkintown's annual Pumpkin Fest. It was 32 degrees on Saturday morning so we waited until it was above 40 to venture out.

We bundled Grace up and were off.

So apparently 30,000 people come to this festival every year. To my amazement, 30,000 people actually know where Pumpkintown is. There was lots to see. Vendors with all sorts of mountain crafts. Some of my personal favorites were the gourd paintings and knitted Kleenex koozies. Ahhh...mountain folk, they never dissapoint. Also there was "Sarah" the horse who let small children pet her. This was Grace's first encounter with a horse (sorry Sally). She seemed fine with the situation until I coaxed her to pet it, then she let out a loud shriek which made the horse begin to back up and throw it's head around, not in a good way. So I decided that was enough freaking out the horse and we left the ring...

But not before we posed her on the saddle...(notice the hair!)

For lunch it was barbeque chicken and bluegrass in the background. In between bites Grace danced and smiled at all the people. She especially liked the clogging contest that Daddy walked her down to see.

So you might ask where are all the pumpkins? On site was the Deep South's Largest Pumpkin weighing in at 737 pounds. Grace wasn't too sure what to think of it and neitheir was I when I saw the color. I guess some pumpkins are greenish white....who knew?

I am sorry to report that the "Greased Pole Competition" was not caught on camera but we did get a picture of the pole, pre greasing. You are just going to have to use your imaginations on this one.

Also one of the more disturbing things iIsaw was the "Baby Changing Station". I told Grace to hold it or I was going to have to strip her down on the folding table next to "Sarah" the horse's ring. Amazingly dry diaper when we made it home. Can you blame her?

I'm pretty sure the guy on the right is taking a leak in the woods. Nice touch...

All in all it was a great day and we managed to buy a new hat and scarf for Grace to keep her warm on the cold days to come. We got in the car and were home in 10 minutes...I guess we're locals. Good grief...

Grace was passed out for the night at 6:45 so Neal and I built a fire and watched Meet the Fockers, god I love that movie and then it was hot tub time. It's funny, Amanda called me and right when we were about to get in she said she was heading to her friends hot tub. So for you Amanda I gave a Captain and Coke cheers and sent happy thoughts your way, did you feel them?

Serenity Now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay so it finally happened. I knew it was only a matter of time and that I was lucky to avoid it this long. Grace got a stomach virus, that's what the doctor called it, but I call it a one way ticket to hell for everyone involved. I changed more diarreah diapers than anyone should have to in a lifetime. Oh did I mention changing sheets at 3 am...that's what happens when the diaper fills with poo. And the 102 fever she ran for two of the days didn't do anything to improve the mood of an already ticked off toddler. I swear the child looked yellow. She just started eating again today but only a little bit. Strictly Pedialyte and water before today. She wouldn't get near any food and got REALLY mad when I did try and coax her to eat. So today was the first day I saw a smile and god I missed that beautiful smile. This whole thing reminds me that there isn't anything I wouldn't do for her...even though I am extremely jealous of the King family who were drinking martinis while I was knee deep in diarreah.

Here are some pictures of Grace "pre funk". It's amazing that one day she smiling and laughing and the next...well you know the story.

That's right I took this picture

Apparently Grace likes to chase ducks

In action

How do I pick, too many decisions...

You want me to throw this ball where?

Wow this heavier than it looks...

A druglord AND a cross dresser...

Breaking news from the Pumpkin Lane neighborhood!!!! So Neal, Grace and I were taking a walk while in the mountians and we pass our next door neighbor. I begin to tell her how Neal and I met the neighbor on the other side of their house. Then the conversation took an ugly turn...it went something like this...

Neighbor: Ohhh...you met Robert?

Me: Yeah he was taking a walk with his two kids.

Neighbor: You mean you met the druglord?

Me: Excuse me?

Neighbor: Do you really want to know?

Me: Apparently you don't know me very well, I have two jobs. One is taking care of Grace and the other is knowing all my neighbor's business. Do tell.

Neighbor: Well a couple of year's ago he was busted for growing marijuana behind his house. They videotaped him coming and going. They arrested him here at his house and I saw it in the paper. Well he is a lawyer and got disbarred for a year. Somehow he got the charges dropped and he is practicing again now.

Me: Wow, who would have guessed?

Neighbor: I would have. I mean I have seen him in dresses for god's sake.

Me: WHAT?!

Neighbor: Yeah. As a matter of fact one night before you bought your house the old owner was up here and in the hot tub. My dog is outside and starts going nuts barking. So I open the back door and I heard footsteps in the woods. So I called the dog in the house and shut the door and then when he thought we were gone the footsteps started again. The next day we found a blond wig in the woods by your house. I am pretty sure if he wears dresses he wears wigs too. All we can figure is he was peeping on the her in the hot tub.

Me: Holy shit...excuse I'm sorry I didn't mean to cuss but sweet jesus.

Neal chimes in...

Neal: I tell you one thing if I hear him in the woods that will be one dead cross dresser. I've got a little present waiting for him.

Neighbor: Well my husband was in Special Ops in Vietnam so I don't think we will have any trouble with him.

Me: So you really have seen him in dresses?

Neighbor: Oh yeah a couple of times.

Me: Great...welcome to the neighborhood.

Enough of the weird and freaky from Pumpkin Lane...here are some pictures of the good part.

Neal and Grace at my parents riding the "little J.D."

Okay so blogger won't post anymore pictures right now so I will follow up when blogger get the stick out their butt.